be careful with each other (so you can be dangerous together)
excerpt
1
—
X
you are here because you want to be here so welcome
B
yes thanks
X
we are here to address what you want to address to work through it
A
sounds good
X
would you like me to call you detective
B
no no you can just call me paul that’s my name
X
hello paul it’s quite lovely to see you
B
you too
X
and your daughter
B
well sure she’s the best
X
mm is that how you feel
B
yes of course
A
ha he flatters my dad he’s a flatterer
X
lovely to see you both
lovely of you to come out in such ruinous weather
B
are we going to start
X
this is it this is starting
but sure let’s dive in
what are fears that you bring to this room
A
i can speak to that yeah
i bring fear here of not being heard or of this just not working
B
yeah me too
A
like yeah
like the fear that i’ll wish we’d not tried because after we’ve tried and it failed like
X
what then
B
yeah that’s
yeah
X
fair enough
but let’s not get ahead of ourselves
A
sure
B
i guess
i
mistrust this whole
format
X
yes fair
i’ve no doubt it seems foreign
B
some mistrust of experts
X
am I
B
well you’re
yeah
X
some mistrust of authority
A
that isn’t him
X
excuse me
A
ya mistrust of authority that isn’t him
great self-trust
is that fair
B
i’d uh
well
X
maybe speak of your mother your wife let’s start there
B
that’s uh
A
no i guess yeah it makes sense that you’d go there
but like why elide the real reasons we’re here
X
the real reasons
A
surveillance
X
if you
A
let’s begin with surveillance
flow outwards from there
X
if you like
A
fine by you
B
fine by me
A
being watched by my father let’s
sorry
X
no it’s
A
here we are we’re just starting already i’m
not
staying composed
X
no
you’re safe here
A
that’s
ha
sorry but that’s
not something that you
like i mean you can’t just say i’m safe here and make it be true
X
well
i want to keep you safe here
tell me what’s needed
A
yeah just
sorry
i
i’ll be fine
X
take your time
.
.
.
B
maybe this
this is
A
no
B
too much now
A
just i
please
B
we can
some other time
A
dad i
dad
.
.
.
A
you ask how’d i feel how’d i feel to learn that i was under surveillance assisted by him or
at least with his knowledge how yes how was that okay yes
X
take your time
A
i felt staggered betrayed i felt sad and abhorrence abhorrence yes that twice i felt wronged felt licensed to lash out felt grief i felt grief
X
it’s okay
take a breath
A
unsurprised
unsurprised
after all that went down at the Borders
the thousand arrests
the fatalities
needless brutality
after the state made plain that it would spare no expense
yeah not shocked
but fucked up nonetheless
X
can your father respond
A
does he need my consent to
X
i’m asking
B
they’re asking
A
i heard them
X
so can he
A
not yet please
B
okay
A
i felt paranoid
anxious as usual
yes unsurprised
disappointed
X
your colleagues
A
my comrades
X
they know who he is
A
yes of course
they expected
yeah sure
they knew that i’d be watched
and they know that they’re watched
by the state
but it still wasn’t fun to discover that he’d
yeah
okay
X
no go on
A
did you know a hacked phone may heat up in your bag when it’s idle
you may find that its battery drains faster than what would make sense
little things that mean danger
a wiretapped device this this
compromised
object
you notice you start to
you feel yourself watched since you are
and relationships trust-based these bonds that you’ve worked for you doubt them
turn in on yourself turn on them
it’s a violence it’s
violent
to make someone feel so surveilled
X
more than normal you mean
more than how we all feel all the time
A
yeah i guess
and he’ll say he’s just doing his job
B
i
i don’t
A
that he couldn’t have told me
B
i’m not saying that
A
so then could’ve but didn’t
B
i
don’t think it’s my turn to talk yet
X
it can be
you needn’t take turns in that sense
B
well
i have
you know i
have conflicting
A
yeah sure duties yes
B
and so when i signed off on
of course they asked me i’m her father
so obviously my approval
A
you gave it
B
i hoped it’d be silent and harmless
A
my comrades my peers they say all cops are pigs i don’t listen
don’t challenge them clearly
don’t want them to think i’m a narc the cop’s daughter i’m
careful
but that’s not my view
i don’t chant with them when they say
i mean
for instance
“get those animals
off those horses”
i just don’t
that’s dehuman-
dehumaniz-
no
i think kindness &
kindness
my father who means well
though exists in systems
of which he’s uncritical yes
but my father who in some ways saved me
who’s far from like blameless but also allows me to feel
that
i mean
not to say “not all men” but
my father he whom i defend to my best friends in private
i just
can’t
i
B
darling
A
oh no
B
i
okay
A
keep your distance
i’m
no
or i’m through here
we’re through
understand
i’m not blood i can sever this
through
please
don’t fuck with me
through
.
.
.
.
.
.
X
when she says she’s not blood
.
.
.
X
let’s move on
A
did you know back when i was a kid strangers thought he had trafficked me
oh yeah
they did
yeah they once called the cops when they saw us at burger king
dudes rolled up quickly one knew him they laughed it was fine
he like just flashed his badge they were pals
it was fine
a big joke
they all knew he had a kid like me
nothing suspect to flag in their file
all respectable
nothing to build up a file on in case
just in case
B
that’s a
what you’re describing
an issue with racists
in general
that’s not specific to
this
let’s not
A
hey did you know there are folks who can’t fly in their country since homeland security noted their names down somewhere
no appeal
no transparency
no reasons given
but insinuations that they are suspected
of maybe someday
being the type
X
to transgress
A
yes the type to blow up an airliner or something
you know there’s a type
you can profile it
know just by looking sometimes
that’s the type
B
those are systems that sometimes yes overreach
but keep us safer than we’d be without them
A
us
huh
who’s that
us
B
well whoever it is it includes you and me so that’s
A
does it
B
it does
whether you like it or
i
no fine
you can talk
A
oh wow thank you
see this is the
here i get skeptical
X
you were already i think let’s be honest
A
i really mistrust
no i do
this reparative this like
transformative
method you live by
this hope that just talking will bridge the divide that we
right
that what breaks us is misunderstanding
that when we apply ourselves to working through we can
like
i just don’t know if conflict’s so biddable
if we can just bridge the real contradictions
resolve them by sitting and talking and meaning well i
like i wonder if
maybe the truth is it’s power that divides us
the power we find ourselves on opposite sides of
and talking and talking delays forms of reckoning not about talk
or that kind of it
B
i also
yeah
wonder if
A
but it’s easy for you since you’re safer
you stand to lose nothing
that power favours you
B
except you
A
i guess
yeah
B
and that’s big
A
i
i guess
but that’s mutual
B
sure
A
so okay so we’re here so let’s
B
fine
.
.
.
B
it’s not personal
A
ha
B
that’s the thing she just won’t see that what i do it isn’t
her
it’s my job
A
yes your job that exists to harass me
B
it doesn’t
A
to terrorize all people like me
B
like
X
yes when you say
A
as in activists
racialized people of every description
but racialized people who do what i do
i mean come the fuck on
B
it’s not personal
A
no it’s a structure
in which you’re complicit
B
because that’s my job
X
when you say
racialized
A
is that less than self-evident
X
how does your wife and your mother
i mean
how does she
navigate the same problems or
A
lol
uh
how much time do we have
X
till my phone makes a noise like a harp
somewhat shocking i’m sorry i need to change that
B
no her mother feels nothing like this
A
sure since
B
none of these problems
A
because she’s deluded
because she’s exhausted
she’s drunk the koolaid for protection
and that’s what it is no mistake
it’s a racket
protection
frail shelter high price
B
not so simple as that but okay
A
she gets tired
in their house in the suburbs
i don’t think she knows what she lives for by now
B
that’s ungenerous
A
is it
okay
that’s the price that i’ve paid
atrophy of my patience to
play
X
what’s her name
A
mariela
B
just ella
A
her name’s mariela the question was not what’s the name that you call her the question was just what’s her name
say her name
not your name for her
say just her name
B
mariela okay
X
should we take a deep breath
A
and some positive thinking
X
now is that sarcastic
A
ironical more like
B
she does that
A
i do that
X
where were we
A
you invoked my mother his wife
X
ah yes right
A
like that whole generation
like all of those women
pure apologetics
the need that they feel to make good what they’ve suffered
to normalize normalize
like
i just can’t
B
you could i don’t know just for a moment consider that she doesn’t feel quite the same
A
yes i know that and i’m asking why
B
jeez this need that she feels for us all to see everything just as she does
it’s exhausting
A
oh please
X
now let’s
B
can’t we discuss
can’t we sit here like adults
A
amazing how women & feminized people
we’re stripped of adulthood so fast when we’re angry
just regress to childhood so swiftly in the eyes of
men
men like
and you know maybe the problem the real one
is that we think childhood is less than
like maybe if we understood kids as people
with good instincts generally
it’d be somewhat less of an insult
less maddening
when men infantilize me us whatever like this
do you see what i’m saying
B
maybe let’s stay on topic
A
this is the
for fuck’s sake
the topic is this
is the bullshit you spout when you justify watching me
“oversight”
for my own good
the same rhetoric
people like me can’t be trusted
are infantile dreamers
so watch us
you have to
we make you
it’s not like you want to
we just won’t grow up
B
that’s a lens you’re applying
that’s you
that’s not what i’m
me
personally thinking
when i do my job
it’s my job
A
where have we seen that posture before
“i was just following orders”
“just doing my job”
B
there are lines we don’t cross
lines i
personally
won’t
but there also can be some
tough calls
A
like just what weight to give
to say
love and security
family and nation
those questions those lines
you mean those yes
B
for instance
A
and like how’d you settle
that tension at the
i mean
at the extreme
in a context where say there were immanent threats to say
national security
would you arrest me
interrogate
pull out your weapon or
what if
B
this
just trying to rile me i’m
stop it
X
this could be productive
A
yeah listen
B
to hash out the awfulest
maybe i’m done
X
please
detective
B
it’s paul my name’s paul
X
paul i ask you to just for a moment stay with this
A
if i were dug in behind barricades during the next insurrection and you were advancing in a squad of riot patrol
and let’s say my comrades had pulled out their weapons were offering live fire would you return fire would you let your comrades open fire
these are questions they matter
B
they are not my “comrades”
professionals
officers aren’t your
they’re serving
and if they were under live fire now you’re asking me
would i tell them to hold theirs that’s
you’re asking me
if you were firing on
me
like you’re asking me
what would i do
A
yes
X
stay with
B
i’d come get you
i’d call out your name
above everything
holler your name
i’d say
ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
X
the fog of tear gas and the glow of the bins set ablaze
B
i’d call
ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
X
recoil of the rifles
the bullets in rubber
some not
and the white lace of tear gas
the curtains
B
i’d
ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
X
the fluttering curtains
you hear him
A
i hear him
B
i’d ask you to lay down your arms and come to me
we’d hold fire we’d hold for you give you clear passage
come out from the barricade
A
and if i didn’t
B
if you held the lines that you’d drawn
A
that were drawn long before i was born
B
if you stuck to them stuck to your
comrades
who fired on me openly
who want me dead
A
who would kill you yes probably given a chance
understandable what with the trauma they’ve suffered
at hands like yours or
at your hands
B
if you fired on me
A
or if i just stood
on my side of that line
and refused to change
B
i would call for you
X
call her again
B
i’d scream
ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and beg you to come to me
X
how would you answer
A
i don’t know
X
consider
A
i can’t say
X
imagine you’re there and you hear him
A
i’m startled but unsure
X
yes
A
whom he addresses
i’m unsure
X
go on
A
like it seems that he speaks to me
yes
but for starters
that isn’t my name
~
~
~
-end of scene & excerpt-
daniel sarah karasik 