1) what is this system of behaviour, i do not understand it & all my intuitions seem wrong
2) i shall study this!!
3) i have systematically theorized the norms & values of this system and will act in accordance with them, even at the expense of other norms & values i have previously theorized but am not currently obsessed with
4) ~surprising amounts of success that also conceal devastating blindspots & imbalances & failure~
5) wait these norms i’ve “mastered” instrumentally are maybe actually intrinsically quite fucked???
6) wait i’ve misunderstood everything oh oh oh fuck
7) “rebellion”/collapse
8) recovery & recalibration
9) repeat, perhaps with mitigation
10) maybe begin to notice a pattern
11) maybe begin to correct for it more adequately
12) wonder if it’s like this for everybody
13) is it